can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
