I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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