Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
