who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
