Four minutes until I can fart!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
