the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
