covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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