I think I am morally bankrupt
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
