Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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