i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
