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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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