just come out here and I will go home with you...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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