Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The power of my boobs compel you
i think i just lost a toe
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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