He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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