guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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