do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it hurts more in the daytime
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
