we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
