Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
