Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
