Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
