I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let's paint friendship bongs
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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