Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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