I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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