Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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