She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
