genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
