check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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