your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
