if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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