Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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