Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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