That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
