Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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