Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
