singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
