All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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