Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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