I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
