The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
