stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
PANTIES FOUND
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