Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
