Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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