I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
