At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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