went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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