She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
