i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
