Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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