There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I know her cup size but not her name....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
