loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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