Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
