Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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